My sister sent this to me, I have to say they are all so very very true!
If you are going
to be the woman on the ranch, here are the top 10 "facts"
you need to know!
1. Always load your horse last in the
trailer so it is the first one
unloaded. By the time he's got his
horse unloaded, you will have
your cinch pulled and be mounted up
ready to go - lessening the
chance of him riding off without you
with your horse trying to
follow while you are still trying to
get your foot in the stirrup.
2. Never - and I repeat never -
ever believe the phrase "We'll be
right back," when he
has asked you to help him do something out on the ranch. The echoing
words, "this will only take a little while" have filtered
through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke
sincere distrust in the woman who hears them.
3. Always know
there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly asks you to take a
ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he checks waters
and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is he wants
someone to open and close the gates.
4. He will always expect
you to quickly be able to find one stray in a four-section
brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to find the
mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator.
5. Count
every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but
sometimes
horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the gate, out the
gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is when he
will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look you
give him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.
6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive
a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the
feed off the back of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are
driving, the opportunity for constant criticism of speed, ability and
your eyesight will be utilized to the full extent. "How in the
*@*# could you NOT see that hole?"
7. Never let yourself
be on foot in the alley when he is sorting cattle horseback. When he
has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking yearlings at you and
then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top of his lungs,
don't think that you really can do it without loss of life or limb.
Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the
house is always an option that has been used throughout time.
8.
Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the plastic
refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always close
every gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.
9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very
same way he does when you help with the ranch work - or not.
10.
Know that when you step out of the house you move from the "wife"
department to "hired hand" status. Although the word
"hired" indicates there will be a paycheck that you will
never see, rest assured you will have job security. The price is just
right. And most of the time you will be "the best help he has"
even if it is because you are the ONLY help he has.